Getting to the Heart
by marysverse
Summary: There will always be a pretty girl with tears in her eyes waiting at every step with you. The guy for me will only worry about my tears and my happiness."


He watched her as she brushed a wayward lock of hair out of her eyes and behind her ear. She was beautiful even after a long day of work. She was just beautiful and for the millionth time that day he wondered what the hell was wrong with him.

He knew, absolutely that she didn't trust him. And that was a huge problem, it hurt him that she didn't trust him, especially since he felt he was paying for the crimes committed by one Lucas Scott.

But was breaking up with her really the answer? Wouldn't it be better to try to work through their problems together? But he couldn't put everything on hold for her, he had dreams, he had ambitions. But if all his dreams came true and she wasn't by his side, would they mean anything at all?

He approached her quietly, she didn't even hear him, her brow was furrowed in concentration as she considered the line up for the next day's wardrobe. He sat down across from her, making the chair squeak and she looked up in surprise.

"Hey, I thought everyone had left?" She said to him in that husky voice that sounded like liquid sex. Her voice drove him crazy.

"I can't have you putting in more hours than me, it would make me look bad." Julian teased.

"Oh, I'm just finishing up, I'll be out of here in a few."

Clearing his throat nervously and trying to be casual, "I didn't see you eat all day, how about I treat you to dinner?"

"You don't have to do that." She replied giving him a warm, soft smile.

"Actually, I'd like to take you to dinner," he reached out and took hold of her hand that had been gracefully flitting across her sketch board, "I miss you."

She looked at him, confusion clearly in her eyes, and then something like regret.

"Julian, I don't want to give you the wrong idea. I'm here to support you and be your friend. That's what we agreed to, right?" Her hazel eyes captured his, pleading for understanding. He couldn't hold the gaze though, he felt so small at the moment.

"Yeah, that's what we agreed to. But I kinda thought that was a temporary way to still be in each other's lives, until we got our relationship back on its feet. Besides, friends eat together don't they?"

"Oh," was her only response to this revelation.

"Well, if you'd like to go to dinner as friends, I'd be good with that, but I have a working dinner planned tonight."

"Working dinner? You mean with crocodile Dundee?" His teeth clenched together and his fists curled up involuntarily.

"Yes, with Alexander." She confirmed stressing his name to highlight his childishness of refusing to call him by his name.

"Wow, so I guess you're moving on already."

"No, its for work. And friends shouldn't have problems with their friends going to dinner with other friends." She pointed out to him lightly, trying to ease the growing tension written all over Julian's face.

"You're one to talk about jealousy." He admonished her bitterly.

At this she started gathering up her sketches and putting them into neat piles.

"Look Julian, I don't want to rehash our past or fight with you. That's the point of us working together, to get past all the crap."

"So that's it then? Because Lucas betrayed you, I can't be friends with Alex?"

"I'm so tired of you bringing Lucas into this. We broke because of you, what you did, what you allowed to happen. Not because of Lucas."

"What? What did I do, how did I betray you? I never cheated on you." He threw his hands up wildly, at an utter loss of what she was talking about.

She licked her lips nervously, looking like she was trying to decide something. Even now, with his whole body on fire in anger, he just wanted to whisk her away somewhere and be with her. He loved her so much, he loved her, why was she doing this to him?

"I don't like Alex."

"I know that, you've made that abundantly clear. Does that mean I can't like her, I can't be friend with her?"

"I question why."

"Why what?" What the hell was she talking about?

"Why you like her. Why when she's done so much to break us up, why do you still like her?"

"She was pretty messed up before, I just wanted to help her. And I still do, I will help her, I'm not going to let her destroy herself."

"I know, you made that choice. And I've accepted it."

"Then why can't you trust me with her?"

"Julian, she stripped down naked in front of you, has repeatedly propositioned you, has told me things that you've kept from me in order to manipulate a fight between us. But the worst thing is you weren't upfront with me, you kept seeing her in inappropriately private places, in her place, in my place, and you told her things about me that violated my trust so completely, I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive you."

"I told you that was a mistake, I was still in shock. I just needed to talk about it."

"Yea, and the person you're supposed to talk about it with is me, not some girl that you'd only known for a few weeks!"

Running his hand over his head, he tried to refocus the conversation. They were just going round and round in circles like usual.

"Brooke I love you, I don't love her, I just want to be with you without all this mistrust."

Standing up, she hooked her purse on her arm.

"She loves you."

"No she doesn't."

"You're blind Julian, she loves you so much. She told Alexander that she told you she loved you and that she still feels that way."

"Of course Alexander would say that, he wants you. How can you trust someone with ulterior motives over me? She told me she didn't mean it, she doesn't feel that way!"

"Are you even listening to yourself? Trusting someone you barely know who has ulterior motives. You just described the entirety of your relationship with Alex!"

Pinching the bridge of her nose she squeezed her eyes shut briefly.

"You may not want to admit it but you are drawn to her. You like that she likes you so much, you like being her hero. Just…don't hurt her. I may not like the girl but I don't wish her ill. Don't lead her on like this if you can't reciprocate. She can't handle that."

Julian sat down abruptly; blown away that Brooke was telling him this. She doesn't hate her. That meant her request for space had nothing to do with Alex or Lucas like he had thought. She wanted space because of him, because of what he did and didn't do. He had made Alex the priority in his life because he thought she needed him more. He wanted to be the hero.

Brooke went to walk away, but he grabbed her wrist and gently pulled her close.

"I'm sorry Brooke. I just couldn't see what you were saying. Please, just give me…give us another chance."

"I can't. I know I'm being completely selfish, but I want a guy who makes me number one in his life. Who loves me completely and shares every aspect of himself with me. And you're not that guy Julian. There will always be a pretty girl with tears in her eyes waiting at every step with you. The guy for me will only worry about my tears and my happiness. Just as I worry about his. I'm sorry, I thought you were him, but you're not."

She gave him a sad smile and gently stroked his cheek just once.

"Hey boss," Alexander greeted as he approached them, "ready to go?"

"Yeah." She stepped away from him, slipping out of his grasp and walked away.

He could hear them bantering together as they left.

"You know, you don't have to call me boss all the time?"

"Well, you said you liked it and I aim to please." She gave him a soft laugh. That laugh was the last thing he could hear of them as the two walked away.

How could they just end like this? Why didn't he see it when she was saying it before? He had just thought she was overreacting, being dramatically difficult. He never understood that while he was telling her he loved her, he was acting like…like…Alex's boyfriend. That's what he did, without even realizing he was doing it. He had thought, Alex needs him now, and that was more important, because he had assumed he had forever with Brooke.

Now, he didn't have that forever, he didn't have anything.


End file.
